It is a weird feeling, waiting for an impending sickness that might or might not come. I got the 2nd dose of the Pfizer vaccine this morning, and based on my colleagues and family’s experiences, it is a crap shoot, a grab bag, roll of the dice how it will affect someone. Maybe 102 degree temperature and aches and chills for hours and maybe nothing but a sneeze.
I wonder if this is how those with serious diseases feel, knowing they are sick and waiting for it to show, to fully reveal itself in their body. I am not making light, and know the depth of their feelings, worries and anxiety must run deep. The uncertainty must be most unsettling.
So, I googled it. Tried to better understand when, I might get sick from side effects of the vaccine. Sounds like I might have 24 hours before it is felt. So now I am in a bit of a rush to get some things in order. Like write this short piece. And perhaps write a few more slices so they are ready to go should I lack the energy to write in the upcoming days. Shopping, laundry, lesson plans. Again, I am struck, wondering if this is how people at the end of their life feel. A need to connect, tie up loose ends, ready themselves. It is an unsettling thought.
I heard a story on the radio as I drove to my appointment, of a Covid survivor, a young man, only 31 years old, who had a double lung transplant as part of his Covid journey. He talked about how grateful he is to be alive, to have survived and how he is not just living his life, and the life for the person and family that donated his new lungs. But, he added, he is also living for his family and friends, those that would have been devastated if he was not in their life. “You mean something to other people. Hold onto that,“ he said as I pulled into the parking spot at the convention center.
His words have been bouncing around in my head, as I got in line to check in, as they plunged the needle into my arm, as I sat the requisite 15 minutes for observation and now, as Iie in wait, for a side-effect that may or may not come. Those of us that are vaccinated, we are so lucky and we carry with us, tucked warmly in our hearts, those whose clock ran out too soon.
You so accurately capture how I felt after my second shot! I felt surprisingly great and then 18 hours later I felt awful but it was short lived! Smart of you to think ahead and get some work done now! I really enjoyed this line, “A need to connect, tie up loose ends, ready themselves. It is an unsettling thought.”