My husband watches a lot of tv. He frequently moves from basebal to Aimee to rugby to historical dramas to K Dramas. He tries to include me in his diverse tv watching. “There is an animee for everyone” he tells me. So many worlds explored in them. My tolerance for animee is short so I usually only last one episode into a show. Nonetheless I watched one about a school marching band, another about an art school student and another about volleyball. The stories are good, it is the animation that I don’t love. The big, big eyes. I just have a hard time with them. I know. Get over it. I am only limiting myself.

 

He then tried to get me to watch some K – Dramas. In case you don’t know the K stands for Korean. Again, I resisted. I left the shows to my husband, as I did my work on the computer or prepped my meals for the week. And then I tried one. The rest is history. The first one I tried was The Extraordinary Attorney Woo. It is about a young lawyer, who happens to be on the Autism spectrum and how that is both a challenge and a gift in her job and life. I loved it. I loved learning how the autistic mind and mannerisms worked. I love that the cute co-worker was smitten by her and together they figured out a relationship that worked for them both. Since that first one I have watched others. Crash Course in Romance, Crash Landing on You, King of the Land, A Daily Dose of Sunshine, Castaway Diva, Business Proposal and Doctor Slump. Looking through my Netflix recommendations, it looks like I will never run out of new K-Dramas to watch. There are so simply so many. 

 

So here is what I have learned, thus far from watching K-Dramas. I guess I should mention, I am not Korean. I am Latina. My husband is also not Korean. He is Filipino. But the lessons learned cross cultures. 

 

First, life is hard. In all of these shows, the characters hustle. They work ridiculously hard at whatever their craft, whether it is  doctor, hotel worker, nurse,  singer or whatever and still, it is so hard. They learn from their experiences, and each challenge makes them stronger, but it is never easy. It makes me realize American TV sometimes glosses over that part. They show the struggle, but then the reward and struggle over. Not true in K-Dramas and not true in real life. Life is a constant struggle with pockets of ease from time to time.

 

Mental health is both still stigmatized and lots of people suffer from it. Perhaps related to the hustle culture, high stakes testing and competitive schooling, people’s mental health suffers. Ultimately though, people eventually accept that they or those around them struggle  and work to better understand and treat it. I think we are getting better at this as well in the United States. We probably have the younger generations to thank for this. 

 

Korean women are tough. They are smart, hardworking and tough as nails. They do not put up with anything. The mothers are even a bit physical, thinking nothing of hitting their grown kid with a shoe or hand. That part is a bit odd to me. But, really, overall the women rock. I am sure all their badassedness is tiring, hence the previous point (mental health). But mostly, I am in awe of them and how they carry themselves in their jobs and relationships. I personally am taking note.

 

Korean culture seems much tamer when it comes to love and romance. They show the lead up to connection in great detail., sometimes excruciating detail. When they finally get to the kiss, they show it, but that is all, never anything more. The characters are always embarrassed, looking over their shoulders to make sure no one has seen them. I am gathering public displays of affection are looked down upon in Korea. Having watched American shows all my life, I find it refreshing, the lack of  graphic scene that show their whole intimate story. It is a just tamer, sweeter, more innocent. 

 

Americans can be curious. The rise in K-pop, and foods from around the world, show me that we are curious people who want to learn more about the people we share the planet with. K-dramas are a way to learn more about a people, its culture and its language. I love all the gutteral sounds Koreans make when they are indigent or the cheer words they use with friends and colleagues when drinking, “Fighting” which means more like, “we can do this, Let’s go”.  I know other cultures have their own shows and I am excited to segue to Thai Dramas or Japanese Dramas or Mexican Telenovelas. I just don’t know how or when, when there are so many line up in my recommendations queue already. For now, I love learning about other people in this way. It help me recognize the dominant narratives in my country, our shows and know that they are just that, dominant narratives, not the only narratives.